Awaking: A skill that keeps on giving!
Since childhood I have been fascinated in observing people, how we become “who we are”, our stories and patterns that seemingly create our reality.
The rise in consciousness and mindfulness has created a relationship to releasing old beliefs and patterns of behavior as an accepted and needed practice by therapists, various spiritual practices, and the coaching world. I am grateful that we are collectively starting to grasp the importance and significance of this practice.
There is a fine-tuning fork that Auraly’s work brings to this process to magnify and significantly enhance the direct shifts in the most blocked areas of our lives. The “blocked” or “obstructed” areas of our lives live in the shadows, they live in the blind spots. Grasping this is a critical aspect of their uncovering. They are really good at hiding there, and your ego’s design will fool you into believing they are your allies. That is because at a critical time in your life, it was.
Let me be clear, it is important to separate and “un-collapse” the idea that limiting patterns and beliefs are “bad” or “wrong”. They are just limiting. When you are exploring your higher purpose, your connection to life and your deep talents and gifts, it is my experience that many great treasures and depth of love and connection we crave lie hidden beneath the barriers of these limitations.
Here is an example from my life. When I was 2 years old, I had a tumor in my leg. My mother was busy taking care of my young brother and sister, living an hour and half away from the hospital where I had surgery and stayed to recovery for a week. I was left alone there. Or so it felt. You see, my father, a surgeon, was in residency at this hospital, so he was around…..somewhere…. and knowing what I know about my father’s work habits at the time, it is predictable that he stopped by my room once or twice a day to check me while I was asleep.
The experience for my little 2-year-old self, was that my mom, the one who took care of me, was conspicuously absent for an entire week while I underwent surgery for my tumor removal and recovered in full length cast alone in a strange place. I am certain that I had no clue of why I was there, why I couldn’t walk, and why strangers were taking care of me. Not to mention a week for a 2-year-old, must have seemed like eternity.
In my recent healing process, I could not shake for the longest time, the overwhelming experience of deep sadness and abandonment coupled with feeling like I could not move. I have come to understand that set of emotional triggers connected to that trauma experienced by my 2-year-old self. When I have felt highly triggered in my life, those same traumatic experiences of feeling overwhelmed by sadness, abandoned and completely immobile have been a commonplace physical and emotional reaction. Gratefully my healing work has broken that old scar tissue and released its death grip from my life.
Trauma of all kinds creates the moments of decisions we make about ourselves, about the world and who we decide we MUST become to SURVIVE that event. Then, we adapt these traits and patterns that become collapsed into our identity. It becomes who we are, or think we are.
So, what did the 2-year-old me do to survive that week in the hospital feeling abandoned, alone and trapped? I became instantly resourceful. I learned to connect to the strangers there, the nurses . I smiled and laughed; I made sure they loved me and would take excellent care of me. I made them feel good by being happy and fun. My mom claims when she arrived a week later to pick me up at the hospital, and the nurses wheeled me out, they said I was the happiest little girl they ever knew, and that everyone there loved me.
Done. It worked. I survived. And I received love and praise for it!
I am almost certain that those nurses did not see the little girl who felt alone, abandoned, devasted and scared. I made sure of that. I hid her away. Instead, they saw the little girl whose smile lit up their day, who made them happy and feel important.
What was the pervasive survival belief that I created at 2 years old?
I had to be happy, make people love me, and make them feel good about themselves in order to survive this world.
The fact that I responded to life that way was highly beneficial to me in much of my past. Who I was, traits and qualities that I depended on and relied on were my abilities to make people happy, like me and produce the results that I wanted. No surprise, I became a great performer.
All sounds like a great resume, right? It was. Until it all collapsed in my face. You see, I had depended on those qualities to get me through anything. However, what they could not allow me is the space to be truly vulnerable or to create intimate relationships with myself or others. What they could not accept was failure to please others. What they could not provide was an access to authentically experience pain, disappointments, or speak my truth. This massive collision of my identity with my soul’s drive to break free became the jousting point that propelled me on my intense path of self-discovery, healing and awakening.
I literally woke up about 5 ½ years ago to a life that was broken, but I couldn’t see it before, because I was so entrenched in my skilled abilities to produce and make things work. Suddenly, everything I had relied on, stopped working. The following few years were filled with many dark nights of my soul, yet also with the most connected and authentic discovery of life within me. I had spent years in advanced communication training, team management leadership and coaching work, but it has been the soul awakening, the holistic integration of the emotional and spiritual work that ultimately was the complete game changer of my journey.
I learned to trade the survivor for the creator in me. I became empowered to listen and follow my deepest guidance that broke down all my old limitations. Not that I am opposed to being happy, making others happy or being a producer and performer, but I am no longer a prisoner to those relationships. My soul song to create and train heart- based leadership demanded I break free of those chains.
In my darkness, I discovered my voice, my truth, my connection to the deepest sources of love, to my gifts and talents, to my empath, intuition and soul song.
It is in the trenches of experience that our lives shift. Our commitment is to be with you, as a guide, coach and support team to your sacred journey and process of claiming your creator. To witness and empower the authentic and beautiful discovery of you and your unique expression to impact our world for good.
It is from this commitment that the work of Auraly Arises.
